In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “Anger is as much a sign of weakness as is pain. Both have been wounded and surrendered.” Now I am no Stoic and far from being a philosopher, but I can see clearly the grasp anger has on mankind. Why do we get angry? Why do we retaliate, yell, swear, honk, spit, grab? It’s default in human nature to turn to anger and make it known it’s not your fault but someone else’s. Unless it provides benefits, taking responsibility is rarely practiced. Having your faults recognized can be humiliating, as it usually results in backlash from others. As you can see, this phenomenon of avoiding responsibility ultimately leads back to avoiding the receiving end of anger. Is there strength in anger? Anger gives you the power to ruin someone’s day. What rights do you have to such power? Instead of punishing faults, it’s more memorable and healthy to laugh it off, accept that what’s done is done, and move on. I wouldn’t say proceeding with actions built in anger gives me pleasure, but laughter never fails at the task. Anger clouds the mind, and having it act inwardly on you can cause irreversible consequences. Taking the extra second to understand your anger, in lieu of impulsively acting on it, shows others your strength and composure. While writing these entries, I was interrupted a few times by people walking by. Although I had every right to be annoyed with them and tell them to leave me alone, I didn’t. Instead, I accepted what was happening to me and tried to find the positives in the situation, like the sight of one of their plumber’s cracks. If I grew angry with them, I may not have realized the joy in the situation.
The feeling of anger is unavoidable, constructed into human DNA, but it’s how we react to the anger that’s important. Say someone really does something that is nasty to you and makes you feel bad; should you hold a grudge against them? Should your perception of this person be posed from one action? In my opinion, never. Thinking people won’t change and characterizing them based off one behavior is blasphemy. People are constantly changing. Summarized well in the TV show Twin Peaks, “When you see me again, it won’t be me.” There will be events in people’s lives that change perceptions and opinions. Every day, you live the life of a different person, crafted by new experiences and events. A person’s identity is accumulated by these different individuals each day, hour, and second. To believe someone will act the same as their prior self is rash and ignorant. The world struggles with this belief, as people today are persecuted for actions performed by their ancestors long ago. Holding grudges and rejecting progression is what makes us part of an angry world. There is so much hate in the world, and it will never go away. Similarly to the complex idea in war, he wants to shoot me, so I must shoot him; anger will continue because the modern way to deal with anger is more anger.
Anger is not strength; it is folly. It’s a mask to deeper feelings, feelings of vulnerability. Instead of facing fear and pain, regurgitating anger is the safer and easier option. I personally view anger as destructive and rarely see good coming from it. Though I try to suppress my anger as much as possible, it is impossible to eliminate it entirely. Practicing control when anger comes has brought tranquility in my life. Learning to accept, love, and understand can be the difference in someone’s life.
